Dirty Dark jokes are not for everyone, but for those who enjoy them, they can be a source of laughter in even the bleakest of situations. One particular type of dark jokes that has gained popularity over the years is dirty dark jokes.” These dirty jokes often deal with taboo subjects such as death, sex, and violence, but with a touch of eroticism that makes them all the more titillating. In this article, we will explore the world of dirty dark jokes, their history, and why some people find them so appealing.
What are Dirty Dark Jokes?
Dirty dark jokes are a type of humor that is characterized by its sexual undertones and its morbid subject matter. These dirty jokes often deal with taboo subjects such as death, sex, and violence, but with a twist that adds a layer of eroticism to them. They are meant to be shocking and often push the boundaries of what is socially acceptable.
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Best dirty dark jokes
1. What is the first thing a man puts in a woman when they get married? The wedding ring.
2. I’ve been taking Viagra for my sunburn. It doesn’t cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs
3. Today I found my first grey pubic hair. I got really excited, but not as much as the other people in the elevator.
4. What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes.
5. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
6. Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn’t close his casket.
7. What’s the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick? The hockey player changes his pads after three periods.
8. They say makeup sex is the best… Which is lucky because all my sex is made up.
9. I asked my partner if I was the only one she’s been with. She said, “Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights.”
10. How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
11. Did Jesus die a Virgin? No, he got nailed before he died.
12. I broke up with my girlfriend because I like my women like I like my coffee. Without other people’s dicks inside.
13. How is a religion like a p*nis? It’s fine to have one, it’s fine not to have one. The problems start when you start shoving it down children’s throats.
14. After death, what is the only organ in the female body which remains warm? My penis.
15. My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex…I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.
16. What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
17. What do you do when your cat’s dead? Play with the neighbor’s pussy instead.
18. What did the oven say to the chicken? “I can’t wait to have you inside me.”
19. Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra? Because they just keep getting harder and harder
20. What is the difference between my girlfriend and an umbrella? Only one of them ever gets wet.
21. How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts counselling session? The psychologist will thank you for coming
22. What goes in dry and hard and exits soft and wet? Bubble gum
23. A guy is walking to the bar to get a drink with his buddies when he notices a girl by train tracks tied up. He runs to her, unties her and they have sex. When he gets to the bar his friends ask why he’s late and he brags about all the sex he got when finally they asked him “did you get any head?” He shook his head and said “nah, I couldn’t find it.”
24. What do you call an expert fisherman? A master baiter.
25. Why do my boyfriend and instant noodles have in common? They’re both done in two minutes
Funny Dirty dark Jokes
26. What do KFC and a brothel have in common? They’re both full of greasy chicks
27. Why are women like KFC? After you’ve finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
28. What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you? Your virginity
29. Why does your grandma like gardening so much? Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees
30. Why do chipmunks make great girlfriends? Because they’re used to eating nuts
31. What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through that tiny thing?
32. Why do women always have sex with the lights off? Because they never like to see a man having a good time.
33. A husband and wife are having issues in the bedroom. The wife can’t orgasm because it’s too damn hot.
34. A husband says to his wife, “Why don’t you tell me when you orgasm?” She replies, “I don’t like calling you when you’re at work.”
35. My wife gave me a handjob the other day using Vaseline. I came three times trying to wash that shit off.
36. My girlfriend thought I’d be a pushover in bed, and wouldn’t you know it, she had me pegged from the start.
37. A couple gets married, and on their wedding night, the wife asks what a penis is. The husband, surprised, pulls his out. She says, “Oh, it’s like a dick but smaller.”
38. Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex. They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.
39. A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?” Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”
40. What is the difference between a remote and a G-spot? My husband will actually look for a remote
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41. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.
42. What do you get if you cross a loaf of bread with a vagina? A yeast infection
43. What’s the difference between a tire and 365-used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
44. What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students? A PDF File.
45. How is virginity like a soap bubble? One prick and it is gone.
46. What do you call a man who cries while he pleasures himself? A tearjerker.
47. How is sex like a game of bridge? If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
48. If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?
49. I discovered I have a “Logic Fetish”. I can’t stop cumming to conclusions.
50. A man got lost in a small town he was visiting when he came across a cowboy standing next to a 10-foot bull.
The man asks the cowboy: “What time is it?”
The cowboy grabs the bull’s testicles, lifts them up, and says: “It’s 3:30 pm.”
The man, confused, then asks: “How the fuck can you tell time by grabbing that bull’s balls?”
The cowboy answers: “It’s really simple…
…I grab the bull’s balls, I lift them up a bit … and you see that clock over there?”
51. I walked into a room full of men masturbating. They looked really shocked when I didn’t stop.
52. My roommate started dating twins.
I asked him how he manages to tell them apart.
He said: “Well Stacy is blonde…
and Brian has a dick”
53. Why did the condom fly across the room? It was pissed off.
54. What’s long and hard and has cum in it? A cucumber.
55. How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Kick his sister in the jaw.
56. A family checks into a hotel.
The father goes to the front desk and says: “I hope the porn is disabled.”
The guy at the desk answers: “No, it’s just regular porn, you sick fuck.”
57. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? “I want you inside me.”
58. What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with. The other is used to carry groceries.
59. “Give it to me! Give it to me!” she yelled. “I’m so wet, give it to me now!” She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
60. What’s the difference between a joke and two dicks? You can’t take a joke.
61. How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.
62. What goes in dry and hard and exits soft and wet? Bubble gum
63. How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
64. What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
65. I’ll admit it, I have a tremendous sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.
66. Why do women rarely become copywriters? Because there are just too many periods.
67. What do you call the lesbian version of a cock block? A beaver dam.
68. Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll? Ken came in another box.
69. Which sexual position produces the ugliest kids? Ask your mom!
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70. What is this new 72 position I heard about? 69 with three people watching.
71. What is the best part of a blowjob? Ten minutes of peace and quiet.
72. Real men don’t wear pink… They eat it.
73. What is the difference between oral and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak.
74. What do you call a deaf gynecologist? A lip reader.
75. A son tells his father: “I have an imaginary girlfriend.”
The father sighs and says: “You know, you could do better.”
Son: “Thanks Dad!”
Father: “I was talking to your girlfriend.”
76. What does a perverted frog say? “Rubbit.”
77. Why did the squirrel swim on its back? To keep its nuts dry.
78. My wife of 60 years told me, “Let’s go upstairs and make love.” I just sighed and said, “Choose one, I can’t do both.”
79. How can you tell if your husband is dead? The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.
80. What’s the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.
The Controversy Surrounding Dirty Dark Jokes
Dirty dark jokes have long been a source of controversy, with some arguing that they are a form of free speech that should be protected, while others believe that they are harmful and offensive.
There is no clear answer to this debate, as the impact of dirty dark jokes will vary depending on the context and the individual. However, it is important to consider the potential harm they can cause and to be mindful of who may be listening when telling these types of jokes.
Wrapping up
Dirty dark jokes are a type of humor that is characterized by its sexual undertones and its morbid subject matter. While these jokes can be controversial, many people find them to be a source of laughter and release in difficult situations. However, it is important to be mindful of the potential consequences of these dirty dark jokes..!
